FebYOUary - the month of (self) love

International Women's Day

mrs_flan@hotmail.com (Victoria Flanagan) — Tue, 07 Mar 2023 13:54:35 GMT

It's International Woman's Day

It’s International Women’s Day on 8 ^th March and I’ve been looking for what I can say about it. I went through good old Pinterest looking for quotes and there are some good ones like “you can’t spell ‘hero’ without ‘HER’” and the one I’ve used in my cover photo.

Many hundreds of years ago, it was thought that women, the matriarch, was in charge of tribes and villages – and it is still the case in some small areas of the world. These older ladies were seen as wise women and leaders with a lifetime’s worth of knowledge. I imagine they were running the village while the men were off hunting because, let’s face it, men are built stronger to do this type of work. Women, and in particular the older women, were respected and listened to. I’m not sure when it changed. Burning them at the stake for being a witch may have been the turning point in history. And since then, women have had to fight to show that while we may not be strong to hunt down a mammoth, we are very strong in many other ways.

While I’m all for letting my daughter know she can be anything she wishes, she is strong, she is fearless and when she’s refereeing she’s the boss. I also have a son. I want my husband and I to raise him respecting women and seeing them as an equal whether this is in the classroom, a job and also in the home to share the housework. Raising girls to become these amazing women is a big shout out from me but we also need to raise our boys to shed the outdated views of what a women is, that are still around in society today.

This year’s theme for International Women’s Day is Equality and I hope I am raising both my children to believe in equality. I want them to “Share the passion and excitement that comes from valuing and supporting difference”*. My son is reading Marcus Rashford’s “You Can Do It”. This is Marcus Rashford’s second book and I greatly respect him for writing both books and showing young people to look at things differently and to become better members of society. He tells his readers “Once you realise that everyone’s the same, you realise everyone is worthy of love and respect” which I think is a great message. Another thing I like is he raises questions why it is called ‘Women’s Football’ and the game men play just called ‘Football’ and that for many years women were not paid to play football as it was thought it would take money away from the men’s game. It’s the same with rugby league. York City Knights announced they were paying their female players and there was uproar. Not because of the injustice that women were not being paid at all, it was (like the football) concern it would take money from the men’s game. The worst thing is, I believe it is York and ONE other rugby league club that pays their ladies to play. That is not equality.

So, as we approach International Women’s Day, let us raise our girls to be strong and our boys also to be strong but to have an understanding that girls are their equal. And let us all remember “everyone is worthy of love and respect”. I don’t think we can go far wrong with that.

*( IWD: International Women's Day 2023 campaign theme: #EmbraceEquity (internationalwomensday.com)

I guess I've got the Winter Blues

mrs_flan@hotmail.com (Victoria Flanagan) — Wed, 22 Feb 2023 10:03:31 GMT

I guess I've got the Winter Blues

The daylight is just starting to get a bit longer. As I take my husband to work at 6.45am dawn is now breaking in the east and at tea-time it is still daylight. It definitely feels we have turned a corner.

Despite this, daylight hours are still quite short and the nights feel long which means many people can be suffering from the winter blues. When I was little I was told ‘you have the winter blues’ and now it is a recognised condition going under the S.A.D acronym or Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Although there is still speculation what actually causes the winter blues, it is acknowledged it is to do with the shorter daylight hours and longer, dark nights. It is this lack of daylight that affects our serotonin levels (feel good hormone), melatonin levels (sleep hormone) and our circadian rhythm (body clock).

The reduction in serotonin makes us feel a little down and even slightly depressed. Increase in melatonin makes us feel sleepy during the day, lack lustre and unenthusiastic. The lack of daylight affects your body clock disrupting sleep patterns, your mood and hormones that can make us crave carb-filled starchy foods.

You may be suffering from the winter blues is you are feeling:

Lack of energy

Persistent low mood

Irritability

Loss of pleasure and / or interest in activities

Decreased libido

Difficulty concentrating

Changes in eating habits (craving carbs), appetite or weight

Feelings of despair, guilt or worthlessness.

Please, please if things are getting too much and you are overwhelmed go and speak to your GP.

Spa Garden at Iveridge Hall Review

Fri, 10 Feb 2023 09:33:14 GMT

Spa Garden at Iveridge Hall

It’s the month of love and a time of as well as showing others our love to show some of that love to ourselves. So, deciding to take a leaf out of my own book, last month I accepted my sister’s offer of going with her to a spa evening she had won in a competition. This was for a Twilight Spa experience at the lovely Spa Garden at Iveridge Hall near Oulton.

I’ve been to a couple of spas before so thought I knew what to expect, but this was totally different – in a wonderful way. I wondered why the lovely ladies looking after us were wearing beautiful thick coats and it soon became apparent as this spa is outside – or as the website says “a beautiful, natural outdoor environment” and this is exactly what it is.

You walk into the welcoming reception area with the restaurant placed at the rear, a members area was to the left and the yoga studio to the right. We were taken through a door and it was like walking through the wardrobe into Narnia. As we had our experience in January it really was getting twilight when we arrived and the place looked magical with the subdued lighting offering enticing glimpses of the delights in the rooms beyond.

I have to admit, it did take me by surprise going back outside and it was a bit chilly when we changed into our swimming costumes and towel robes. My sister took advantage of the amazing thermal spa pool, sauna and steam room while I had a hot stones massage. This is one of three massages you can book either on the day or in advance of your visit. I knew my shoulders were tense but was surprised at the size and number or knots that were actually there. I didn’t know if the sound was coming from the hot stones clacking together or the cracks were coming from my knots breaking down. The treatment room was beautiful with a luxurious heated bed and the therapist used one of the Garden Spa’s pre-blended massage oil – in my massage she used the detox massage oil. I even loved the little bowl with the floating candles you could watch while having your massage. It definitely reminded me what it’s like to be at the other end of a massage instead of giving them all the time. I was very tempted to do my ‘massage dance’ as I left the room due to my shoulders being much looser and more relaxed.

It was a beautiful evening and because it was January there was only the two of us in the spa. It’s been a long time since I caught up with my sister, just the two of us and the environment and whole experience made it a very special evening.

The big question is would I go back? The answer is yes and the sooner the better.

FebYOUary - the month of (self) love

Wed, 01 Feb 2023 11:06:49 GMT

FebYOUary - the month of (self) love

If I said to you “do you practice self care?” do you shudder and think “she’s going to tell me to get a bubble bath” or do you say “hell, yes I do!”.

But self care is really important. Yes, you should put on your face mask first and you can’t pour from and empty cup etc but there is something in this.

For many years women have been fighting to prove they are as good as men (although pay numeration still hasn’t been given the memo) and women have been given the message that we can have it all – the job, the family the amazing social life (should that be what we want). Do you know the thing about having it all? The actual doing of it all is really, really tiring. I love my husband very much and we have been married for 23 years this August. But ask him about the last time he vacuumed up, put a load of washing in or cleaned the bathroom he will have to think about it. The majority of that still falls to me.

And that is why self care is so important. It is taking a break, a moment to yourself. Sometimes there is too much emphasis on being productive and squeezing the most out of every minute of every day. I was guilty of this before Covid locked us down. I had forgotten how to relax and felt guilty when I did take a moment to myself. Yes, there are times we need to be productive – our home and work lives do demand it but at what point do we let it get the better of us? And when it does, what do we do about it?

Like I said at the beginning, self care isn’t all about bubble baths but if 20 minutes peace and quiet with a good book in a lovely warm bath with lots of bubbles (and glass of wine?) brings you moment of balance then that’s great. There are other ways too. Have you thought about any of these?

· Exercise – could be a daily walk or yoga practice or doing Couch25K. It can be as strenuous as you want, just get that body moving.

· Good sleep habits – regular bedtime and getting up times even at weekends, no technology in the bedroom

· Good nutrition

· Massage – yay I like this one

· Attending healthcare appointments – looking after your own health.

· Forgiving yourself

· Practising gratitude – list three things or more a day you are grateful for

· Getting out in nature (combine with exercise and do two at once)

· Yoga – join a class and build up a new set of friendships or there are plenty of on-line options too.

· Journaling

· Getting organised – reduces stress and overwhelm

· Money management

· Clutter free environment

· Reading – I love a visit to the library. I have discovered so many new authors from the displays they do.

There are some on the list that I hadn’t thought about and quite a few of them are free.

We need to stop feeling guilty about taking time for ourselves. We need to allow ourselves to take a moment in the day to do something for ourselves, to relax.

“What is this life, if full of care

We have no time to stand and stare”

‘Leisure’ by William Henry Davies

The result of taking these moments regularly could be you become happier, your work and home life might be a little bit easier as you may feel less stressed and overwhelmed. You may discover hidden talents, get creative, get excited about the little things and maybe find the you that has got buried under the everyday things called life. Heavens forbid, you may rediscover your own power and happiness – then what amazing things might happen?

Ouch, pain in my neck

mrs_flan@hotmail.com (Victoria Flanagan) — Mon, 16 Jan 2023 08:00:08 GMT

Can massage help the pain in my neck?

I’ve got a pain in my neck. I don’t know if I’ve slept funny, carried something a bit too heavy or been sat in a draught. Whatever it is, at the base of neck and across the top of my shoulder is achy and tender.

I could take a couple of paracetamol or ibuprofen if it gets too bad, which would mask the pain. Or I could look to more natural ways of healing – like booking a massage as unfortunately I cannot really massage myself.

Can a massage really help?

The short answer is yes.

This is what Jo said “had a lovely aromatherapy massage with Victoria and she really worked into my shoulders & I felt a difference straight away.”

How does a massage work to reduce your pain in the neck (or shoulders)?

Well, it’s got a lot to do with improving our circulation. When our muscles are tight or sore, blood flow can become constricted. Massage can reduce this tightening by increasing the temperature of the area being massaged. This increase in temperature allows the muscles to loosen and relax which allows blood to flow better and by doing this it delivers more oxygen and nutrients to the muscles. Improved circulation helps with the removal of waste products which in turn helps to reduce inflammation. (Many modern painkilling medications work by blocking inflammation).

Tight muscles compress the nerves around them which can contribute to the pain you are feeling. Through massage, when the muscles are relaxed they are not pressing against the nerves anymore. Massage also releases endorphins which are nature’s pain killers so by default help to reduce the painful feelings.

So the next time that achy shoulder or pain in the neck is bothering you, why don’t you give me a call to check availability and see how I can help you.

New Year New Hygge

mrs_flan@hotmail.com (Victoria Flanagan) — Fri, 30 Dec 2022 11:59:31 GMT

Happy New Year!

May I wish you all a very happy and prosperous new year and welcome to 2023!

I'm not a big fan of January / New Year's Resolutions like "lose a stone in January" or "I must be more organised and a Supermum by February". After the busyness (and sometimes stress) of Christmas I try to go easy on myself in January. However, I am in total awe and admiration of anyone who gives up alcohol or goes vegan for the month, that is quite an achievement. I like to lean much more to the idea of Hygge, the Scandinavian concept of the quality of cosiness that comes from doing simple things.

This is much more my scene. Embracing this time to snuggle down in the dark nights rather than fight them. Reflect on the year just gone and may be plan for when the days start to get longer. I will make my New Year, New Me diet and fitness goals when the weather is warmer and days are longer. That's not saying I won't set intentions but they will be things like doing a daily yoga / journaling / gratitude practice rather than start Couch25K (again). We do ourselves a disservice by not taking things easy during this time. We should take our prompts from nature which is hibernating and making plans to grow in the spring.

But hygge is not all fluffy blankets and candles. Whilst there is a certain element of closing the dark and cold outside it doesn't mean it's a time of isolation. In Scandinavia it is also quite a social time where friends and family come round to share a time of togetherness, usually accompanied by lovely warming food and good cheer.

Staying inside is another hygge misconception. The Scandinavians embrace being outside. Whilst they may don their skis and go on cross country jaunts, we need to still get outside. Those 10,000 steps a day won't happen by themselves and the benefits of being outside has so many rewards for your mental health. Why not wrap up warm and go for a walk? After all, there is no such thing has bad weather only inappropriate clothing. We went to Fountains Abbey in December and saw a Kingfisher while walking by the river! There is still plenty to look for even at this time of year. Or why not find an outdoor ice-skating rink for a bit of fun and exercise? There are so many popping up in our towns and cities these days.

So if being hygge isn't something you had thought about before, why not give it a try this winter?

Sending light and love,

Victoria